The essence of being Bengali? - A bong-took on A-Z

Another gem unearthed from an old mail.

>> A is for Apish (Office). This is where the average Kolkatan goes and spends a day hard(ly) at work. If he is in the Government he will arriveat 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around afew files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 5. It's a hard life!

> > B is for Bhijon. (As in teli-bhijon) For some reason most of the Bengalis don't have good bhijon. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time. The effects of this show in the city!

> > C is for Chappell. This is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying 'go to bed, or Chappell will come and take you away.'

> > D is for Debashish. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debnath and Deboprotim thrown in.

> > E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali uses eeesh 10,089 times every year. (That's counting eeesh andother eeesh-ish words).

> > F is for Feesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fishmarket has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh, what feeesh is theeesh!'

> > G is for Good name. Every Bengali Boy will have a good name likeDebashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Shontuda, Chonti, and Dinku. While every Bengali Girl will be Paromita or Protima as well as Shampa, Champa and Buri. Basically your nickname is there to kill your goodname.

> > H is for Harmonium. The Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

> > I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

> > J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2 million jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all look exactly thesame!

> > K is for Kee Kando. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).

> > L is for Lungi. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt. Everest.

> > M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of Formula 1 racedrivers.

> > N is for Nangtoe. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

> > O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)

> > P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

> > Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

> > R is for Robi Thakur. Many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize.This allows everyone in Kolkata to frame their acceptance speeches and walk with their head held high and look down at Delhi and Mumbai!

> > S is for Sardarjee whom Bengalis are very envious of because he is born with a semi-monkey cap on.

> > T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

> > U is for Ambrela. When a Bengali baby is born they are handed one.

> > V is for Violence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will shout and scream and curse and abuse, but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.

> > W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is under water and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

> > X is for X mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully litup.

> > Y is for Yastarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali.

> > Z is for Jeebra, Joo, Jip and Jylophone.

A Calcutta Food Fiesta - Food for thought or thought for food?

Khai-khai koro keno, esho bosho ahare
Khaoar ajob khaoa, bhoj koy jahare
Joto kich khaoa lekhe bangalir bhashate
Joro kore ani sob - thak sei ashate.
- Sukumar Ray "Khai-khai"

Somebody took the time to make this list. How many have you tried ?
These are all available in Calcutta
Kabiraji Cutlet from Regent (S N Banerjee Road)
Moghlai Parota from Anadi Cabin (S N Banerjee Road)
Kosha Mangsho from Golbari (Shyambazar)
Phulkopir Singara from Mrityunjoy (Lansdowne)
Double Egg Chicken Roll from Kusum, Hot Kati @ Park Steet)(Campari @ Gariahat & Nizam is a close contender!)
Chicken Rezala from Shabbir (off C R Avenue)
Beef Steak with Peeper Sauce at Oly pub (with beer!!)
Ujjala's Chanachur ( no comparison anywhere)
Telebhaja from Putiram (College Street)
Daab Chigri from Kewpies (Elgin Lane)
Daak Banglo Mutton/Chicken from Oh! Calcutta
Chicken Cutlet from Baked & Fried/Mukherjee Sweets (Ballygunge Place)
Bijoli Grill's Fish Roll
Mochar Chop Dhoka from Apanjan (Sadananda Road)
Boudir's Lebu Cha (Deshapriya Park)
Kochuri & Tarkari from Tasty Corner (Mandeville Gardens)
Phuchka/Churmur/ Dahi Phuchka from Bilas or Boudi (Southern Avenue)
Chicken Cutlet near Samur (Bhowanipur)
Mishti Doi & Rosogolla from Mithai (Beckbagan)
Sandesh (all types) from Balaram (Bhowanipur) (Naram pak & Ice creamsandesh)
Pantua from BancharamIndrani from Ganguram
Rabri from Chittaranhan
Darbesh from Sen Mahasay
Amritti from Bhim Nag/Ganguram, Maniktala (Jalebis are no match)
I wish I could add -Skyroom's Prawn Cocktail & Mixed Grill & Baked Alaska
or
Blue Fox's Lobster Thermidor - NOT anymore....even the
Mandarin Fish from Waldorf is no more available!!
These are unmatched:
Chelo Kabab from Peter Cat
Phulkopir Shingara: samosas don't stand a chance against these.
Phuchka: gol-gappas aren't a match on phuchkas.
Karaishutir Kochuri: a seasonal favourite, have it with alur dam.
Luchi: puri and phulkas - no comparison.
Alurdom: the world's best. Try the offering at Vivekananda Park.
Jhalmuri: a unique concoction, with nothing to equal it.
Telebhaaja: these and jhalmuri are like 'made for each other'.
Chanachur: many have tried unsuccesfully to steal the formula, MNCs included!
Alukabli: where will you get something like this?
Ghugni: again, chana is not the same at all.
Radhaballavi: try it with alurdom or cholar daal.
Chanp: even Pakistani cricketers have sampled these, in Chitpur.
Rezala: out of this world, just out of this world!
Paradiser Sharbat: there is one which is green, and another, pink. No college student from Presidency or the University has failed to sample these!
Lere Biscut: needed to make the batter for chop-katlet.
Chicken Kabiraji: an unbelievable variation on the chicken cutlet.
Moton Afghani: an equally innovative presentation of the mutton cutlet.
Dimer Kalia: again, where do you get something like this?
Kasha mangsho: it's become an institution now.
Roll: the ubiquitous mutton, chicken or egg roll. Unquestionably superior to any variants in any other city of the world.
And also..Coffee houser coffee: try the float with ice cream.
Bharer chaa: on the Maidan, from shining brass vessels on a rainy day.
And not to be missed in all this,
Pan unmatched, even in Benaras or Lucknow. Honestly!
The sweeter side
Roshomalai: a creamy, mouth-watering delight!
Jilipi: smaller than the jalebis and tastes quite different.
Lal(Misti) doi: is an experience by itself!
Kamala bhog: a pale yellow orb, delicately sweetened.
Notun gurer sondesh: a winter speciality available in no other city.
Rosogolla: simply needs no introduction.
Natun gurer Rosogolla: the latest innovation.
There are many, many more traditional favourites.
And also:.Shitabhog: pure white, sweetened to just the right extent.
Mihi Dana: golden yellow, saffron scented.
Maalpoa: rich brown pancakes, dripping in sugar syrup.
Ranga alur pithey: another traditional favourite in winter.
Some special one's:
1. Aamer morobba - the best outside Gariahat market
2. Kuler achar - the best outside Gariahat market
3. Shukno mashla makha tetul - Available with the churanwalas outside all schools, much to the delight of the students and dismay of the parents !!
4. Dulaler tal michri
5. Dulaler hojmi - mind boggling and healthy too
6. Bikrampurer kashundi - Mustard just pales next to this
7. Machher kochuri - Where else can you have fish in such an innovative form ????
8. Churmur - In my opinion this is slightly better than jhalmuri and phuchka. The sad thing of course is that it is unheard of in the rest of the country.
9. Alukabli - Another must at Vivekananda Park or opposite Menoka Cinema
10. Muri ghonto - Defies description
11. Mochar chop - A delight even for the staunchest non vegetarians
12. Kumro phul bhaja - In tiny little food joints around Chittaranjan Avenue
13. Kada paker sandesh - A sure winner, especially the jalbhara talshansh with the liquid gur filling, which is sublime
14. Darbesh - Our own version of the laddoo
15. Bondey - How does one describe this sticky sweet delicacy ?
16. Patishapta - A delicate crepe with a filling of coconut and gur
17. Chhanar payesh - Better than rabdi anyday and does not weigh your stomach down...

Basic Rules to be a Blues Musician

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Growing up with a Bong Superhero

These rainy days make me quite nostalgic. Days like these brings back memories from the summer vacation, Maggi, Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot and comics. Comics was the main source of our hero worshipping (what else do a Bong kid can do on summer holidays with only DoorDarshan available!). To a whole generation of us Bong kids growing up Bantul was our definition of the ultimate Bong superhero (though the grownups always talked about the Marxist superheroes but we somehow foresaw the future and knew Jyoti Basu was a dud!!). Every Bong house has atleast a copy of Bantul or Handa-Bhonda or Nonte-Fonte present. I remember visiting my Mashimoni's place and spending whole day going through my cousin's collection of Suktara(he had an enormous collection; some date back even before my birth).

Bantul is supposed to be the strongest man on earth - he can lift whole ship with a single hand, can blow the roofs of whole town by blowing his breath and can lift the prison building with one hand to catch the crooks escaping. The only similarity with Bantul I found later was with Desperate Dan and in recent times with Hancock.

I've always wanted from then on to know more about Narayan Debnath, the man behind those hugely popular (they still are!!!) comics series like Bantul, Handa-Bhonda and Nonte-Fonte. Atlast found an interview of him thanks to Parabaas.

Here's some vital-info on Bantul:
Real Name: Bantul
Identity/Class: Unknown
Occupation: Various odd jobs when money is short
Affiliations: 'Lambakarna'. (a small boy, who has a special power of hearing from a great distance.); an ostrich (by manipulating his wings Bantul flies)
Enemies: Terrorists, outlaws, smugglers in general.Bachchu, Bichchu - two small boys who are criminally-minded; Bantul always try to prevent them from doing mischief, so they try to harm Bantul.
Known Relatives: One very old aunt. Bantul is brought up by her, and he still stays in her house, looking after her.
Aliases: Bantul the Great
Base of Operations: A small township at a remote corner of eastern India, sometimes other parts of India also.
First Appearance: 'Bantul The Great' Comic Strip in Magazine Shuktara, started 40 years ago.
Powers/Abilities: He has physical power beyond imagination. He can move big things by blowing air from his mouth; his body is so tough that bombs, bullets or knives cannot penetrate. In a few instances terrorists fired missiles at him, and he used them as football. Even his tiny hairs (he usually has a shaven head) are so tough that they act like thorns or nails, so if he touches a ball with his head, the ball bursts. He can fly by manipulating the wings of his favorite ostrich.
History: Bantul is a superhuman who tries to enjoy a leisurely life in a remote corner of eastern India, who comes to the rescue of good people and to enforce the law and punish criminals. He helped Indian Military and Police a few times to catch terrorists and smugglers. The rest of the time he spends reading books, cooking, fishing, roaming in jungles and mountains, or try to earn some money when he runs short of it. Most of the times he land up in a mess when trying to earn money, as he is never conscious of his great powers, so he does normal things abnormally and destroy everything! (For example, if he takes a job of lawn mowing, he will definitely break the lawn mower!). Despite all his abilities, he's by heart a small boy, and most of the time he forgets his powers and try to act like a normal man. This way he brings miseries to his friends also.

Thank you Narayan babu for giving us the lovely childhood.

Here's a place we can read his masterpieces online.

Mission Statement

Mission Statement : To use this blog as an outlet for randomness that would otherwise be wasted upon myself.Endure at your own risk.